My Mother's Breast Cancer And My Broken Soul

So I just left mommy, going through her breast cancer chemotherapy.

Veins ready, heart of a lion pumping. Ready for phase 3.

My mother Senzeni Mudzengerere-Mukondiwa, Tsitsi Betha and I. (Pic Elizabeth 'Lizzy D' Dziva.

Just like a boxer preparing for another string of rounds in boxing.

Except this is a battle for life.

The dent in my pocket and those in support keeps growing bigger and bigger. The number of allies gets smaller and smaller. The more you need the less there are who 'love' you.

But that is a battle for another day. Today's battle is the guilt in leaving her there alone. Without me. Yes with a member of the family. But that person is NOT me.

What would life be without glden hearts of people like my beloved sister, friend and boss Michelle Hakata be? The sister that i never had who takes every battle like her own? Who everything she touches she leaves with fingerprints....not her own but the fingerprints of God? Or Robin Chaibva? Allies and friends. The few standing while others call not.


To leave her there alone made me feel like those women who were forced to let go of their albino children or twins. Left in the woods for the creatures of the forest to devour them while they carried on with 'life' like everything was OK.

Except it's not OK.

Leaving her there made me vow that i will be there for the entirety of the next chemo session. Reading her a book or perhaps her favourite Bible  verses.

Because there are invasive liquids and burning substances that are setting her veins alight and we all know she has to go through all of it to find comfort later.Breast cancer, or any other cancer for that matter are a condition i would not wish upon anyone.

If Satan had a mother, i wouldn't even wish it upon her. I sit in the office breathing mechanically...my my heart, mind and soul are there with her in that dingy little room from whence i am from.

I left fragments of my broken soul with her. I hope they are enough to keep her company. God bless you all and your beautiful prayers and kind words:

Robert