Phillip Chiyangwa…in the mind of a moron

Moron.

It is a colourful word with a whole host of cousins.

Phillip Chiyangwa

Idiot, dumbo, lunatic, imbecile, softhead, ninny, nitwit, mooncalf…….

And that is what occupies the trophy cabinet of people’s lingo when they want to describe the sharp tongued antics of Zifa president Phillip Chiyangwa.

Some have even called him a clown for his eccentricity.

But that lunacy. That moronic approach to life and that ability to wear ear plugs when people start resorting to name calling may just be the genius behind the so-called Captain Fiasco of African football.

You see Philip is like the python. He knows people are calling him names and knows too that they are off their guard-underestimating his ability to change the game according to his personal wishes and he uses that to his advantage.

And when you keep looking at him as he goes about his jester antics, dancing in his self-shot videos and bobbing that bald shaven head as if in entertainment, he has you in his grip in no time at all then then before to know it you are gone.

Moronic moment...Phidza in jester action.

Like the prey that is lulled and entertained by the beautiful and seemingly harmless colours of a python’s skin before being shocked and killed off.

You are in his grip, the breath being crushed out of you. The fight being drained from you. And you lose to the moron, the clown the jester. In the end the real question is ‘who is the REAL moron’ YOU!

None better to bear testament to that sheer genius of Phillip Chiyangwa in which he plays dumb than erstwhile CAF president Issa Hayatou, whose reign was helped to its dying embers by the veld-fire of Chiyangwa’s maverick politics. Issa didn’t see Phillip coming. He saw a motor-mouth freshman administrator who could be killed off the script by him flexing his 28-year-old muscle in the game.

And like the David versus Goliath tale Phillip has lived to tell the tale.

Perhaps people have to start taking a leaf from Phillip Chiyangwa.

“Nobody can do what you can do and that is why people find you to be a threat,” says Phillip to me one day in a chance encounter; “They will gun for you because they fear you and know you are the best at what you do. Look in the mirror and if they see a cat in you always remind yourself that you are in fact a lion. Because that is what you really are!”

“They used to laugh at me and say ‘Phillip apera. Anobhadhara vanhu nebhutsu’. I never listened to them. I listened to my spirit inside telling me I would not fall and look at me now!”

That was a year or so ago.

And now looking back at what he achieved in Ethiopia, I see the genius of Chiyangwa at work as he has now toppled the erstwhile giant of African Football.

The Emperor has succumbed to the moron. And who is the moron now?

A toast to the Chiyangwa Philosophy!